The Mold You Choose

My 9-year-old daughter has been asking if she can watch a certain (seemingly harmless and quite common) TV show. We don't have cable or satellite, or even an antennae for that matter, but we do have Netflix and they offer the first season of this particular show as one of their choices. Now, I'm a firm believer that what you put into your mind will eventually come out in your actions, so we try to be very careful what we let our kids watch and listen to. I didn't know much about this show, other than it seemed age-appropriate for my pre-adolescent (or at least it was marketed that way), but decided rather than just telling her "no you can't watch it", the time had come for me to start making a diligent effort to teach my daughter how to evaluate the things she allows into her mind. So we picked an episode and decided we would watch it together, carefully, evaluating the show in the areas of modesty/purity, personal responsibility (taking responsibility for your own actions), respect for authority, treating peers with respect, and if the characters acted in a way that would please God, or not. Neither one of us knew what we might discover, good or bad, but decided we would keep track of both the bad and the good points of the show.

Wow.

The good points? Well, seriously the only good thing was the characters were not immodest, at least in this one episode. I've seen promotional images for this show, and can't exactly say those are the ideal in the area of modesty, but at least this episode posed no problems in that area. That one area. And that's pretty much the extent of the "good" list. And I was even looking for good areas.

The bad? Probably the worst issue was in the area of respect for authority. The show portrays authority figures as idiots who don't need to be respected or listened to, but are disrespected at every turn. Two examples: one of the characters throws a football and hits a teacher in the face (and of course the entire crowd of kids laugh because it is the "disliked" teacher.) Another character grabs the principal's cell phone while he is talking on it, and throws it onto the floor in hopes of breaking it, all in an effort to GET detention. (Yes, you read that right--to GET detention.) Students are disrespecting the authority of their teachers, and teachers are disrespecting the authority of their Principal. Nice.

Continuing with the "bad" list, we witnessed lying, cheating, bullying of other students, a teacher saying he hated his wife (and the students), a girl fighting her conscience (meaning she was trying to FORCE herself to do the wrong thing--pull the fire alarm), and constant "sneaking around" to get done what they wanted to get done. Wholesome.

But probably the biggest red flag of the whole show is the attitude that all of the above is...funny.

Lying? Funny. Bullying? Funny. Hearing a guy say he hates his wife? Funny. Disrespect? Really funny.

Now I know you're thinking I must have watched something like Bart Simpson or South Park, right? Nope--we watched iCarly. Surprised? Maybe. But before you write me off and tell yourself, "Oh, it isn't that bad...." take some time to watch it and really evaluate the subtle themes and messages of the show.

I'd  be willing to admit we may have gotten a particularly bad episode, but not out of the ballpark. I doubt I'll watch another just to find out.

Sometimes we forget that the things we watch, listen to, or read actually mold our thinking and our actions. Is iCarly the mold I want my children or myself to come out of? Are there no other choices??

Well....we evaluated another show right after iCarly--Little House on the Prairie. Talk about contrast. In the episode we watched, it was Christmastime and every member of the Ingalls family personally sacrificed for someone else in the family.  Mary worked 3 weeks on a shirt for her Pa. Charles slaved away on a difficult project just to make enough money to buy Caroline her present. Laura traded her dearly loved horse with Mr. Olson for a stove for Caroline. And when Pa gave Laura a saddle, she cried. But not because she no longer had the horse to use it on, but because she felt bad her Pa had went to such work for her. SelfLESSness. Now that's the kind of theme I want my kids to absorb.

So you've probably guessed what my kids will be watching at our house. And what your kids watch at yours is completely up to you. Just be informed. Pay attention. Don't assume anything, good or bad. Evaluate for yourself. Please. This is important stuff.  

A Good Thing

This is our first night home in 4 nights. We all went on vacation--the kids "vacationed" at Grandma's house, and DH and I went by ourselves to Hermann, Missouri. You might be asking, "What is in Hermann, Missouri??" Nothing, really. Just some super sweet accommodations (here), but really not much else in the middle of February. And that's exactly what we needed.

Every year we try to take two vacations--one that includes our whole family, the other just DH and myself. I've noticed not many married couples really do this, but boy do I ever recommend it! It is our time to reconnect, to remember why we married each other, to be able to talk without constant interruption, without having to fill a sippy cup, change a diaper, answer 1000 questions. To remember that we were a married couple before we were parents.

Have you noticed how parenting is really intense? It never ends, well, at least in a daily kind of way. You can't "check out" at 5pm and come back to work at 8am the next morning. Nope, if you're a parent (ok, a good parent) you're ON DUTY 24-7. And that's exactly why we need a 3-day (or more!) break.

Is it tough to leave them? Oh my, its one of the hardest thing I do every year. But I do it because it is important to us. It is important for Grandma and Grandpa to get to know our kids better. It is important for our kids to see that OUR world does not completely revolve around them.

And when I get home, I am refreshed enough to want to be a better Mom. A better wife. A better person. Would I realize this without our time away? Probably not. We get so caught up in just doing the next thing...or the next 100 things...that I don't take time to just be quiet and think and evaluate. The proof is in the pudding--I can't tell you how many really good ideas have hatched from our times away. Ideas that have stuck and made our family stronger.

So yes, I need this. Even though my stomach hurts when the non-refundable reservations are made. Even though I'm memorizing the baby's features as I'm rocking her to sleep for the last time the night before we leave. Even when I find myself in a state of panic for the first 5 miles after we drop them off. I need this.

Do you need it, too? Are you a parent? Then yes, you need it, too.

(Yes, even you, Denise!) :)

Slobber fountain

My lands, this girl can slobber. Click on the photo to see it larger if you don't believe me. I keep thinking this will eventually stop. I mean really, can you imagine this on a first date?? Hopefully we have a while before that, but really! The slobbering has become so constant that we typically keep bibs on her at all times to soak it up. The water-resistant ones are our favorites!

Slobber or not, she's pretty fun to have around, and we wouldn't trade her for anything. Slobber or not, she's a keeper.

When you don't have cable TV...

...your kids end up doing stuff like this (click on it to see it larger):

Of course a new marker board and new set of markers helped get the creative juices flowing, too.